Friday, April 26, 2013

Dear Stress, Lets break up. Love Max


Havent blogged in a really long time. Life has been crazy. But I feel I need to. These past couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful. Usually I do pretty well with stress, as of late though, life has been brutal. School this semester was rough. I don’t know why but the last two spring semesters have been crazy challenging for me. I think I may be cursed….80% sure I am. what greek god has it out for me?  With that in mind though I will be going back in the summer. I love school. Id be a mess without it. Cursed or not cursed.

 

Adding to the stress of school, I have also found out that my stomach is plotting to kill me. (Kylie thinks I am harboring a rodent in my gastrointestinal system and I have named him Archibald) I got some tests done and finally found out some answers. I have erosive gastritis and a overgrowth of bacteria. So now I take a bazillion pills for breakfast. It’s a banquet everyday. Be jealous. Hopefully the meds works though.

Most of my days at the moment...
 

Along with the stomach and school has been drama. I. HATE. Drama. A lot. I will never understand it. The discord and negative emotion it produces its horrendous. I don’t know why people go out of their way to make other peoples lives difficult. I do not have a perfect record of creating drama…but I try with all my ability to rectify it when it happens. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Drama causes un-necessary heartache and stress. Why do we have to have it? I don’t understand.
Yup...Darwin would be ashamed.
 

 

Fourth thing. Doubt. As a self proclaimed scientist…I HATE doubt. I have a lot of trouble with just going with the flow of things and not logically thinking about things. When there is a battle between my heart and my brain…. usually my brain wins. So when things happen that don’t make sense and the logic tells me one way but I doubt it and have to trust in my heart…I really get screwed. From my academics, to my relationships with people, I try and be logical. And it gets me into trouble sometimes. Have you ever seen the moviw/play “Doubt?” Excellent piece of art but it DRIVES ME INSANE. Just tell me. I like reason and I like logic. I have a set plan and if that is upset in anyway it really throws me out of control. I hate it. Trying to work on it.
New motto?
 

 

Well this is quite the negative piece of literature. All of this aside I do have things in life which I am incredible grateful for. One of my best friends in the world is FINALLY engaged. (I was worried Jesus was going to come before it happened…), I am vice-president of the neuroscience club and we are the coolest kids in the world, I am doing research with my favorite professor and it gives me purpose to go to school everyday, I have 5 new pet jellyfish who are my best friends, I am still dating Kylie and she is the best thing to ever happen to me, My best bro is graduating college in a week, my nephew learns words I teach him (like “Brain”), I talked to the pre-med advisor and I am all set for 2015 med-school, I went to the Out-reach program and have plans to start to volunteer there in the summer, and I got my stupid car back. So aside from all the crap life is still really good. I think we just notice the crap more. Which Sucks. A lot.        

 

            Random blog post I know. But at the same time incredibly therapeutic. Really hope things do calm down though. Don’t know how much more I can take before I snap.

   

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