Havent blogged in a really long
time. Life has been crazy. But I feel I need to. These past couple of weeks
have been incredibly stressful. Usually I do pretty well with stress, as of
late though, life has been brutal. School this semester was rough. I don’t know why but
the last two spring semesters have been crazy challenging for me. I think I may
be cursed….80% sure I am. what greek god has it out for me? With that in mind though I will be going back in the
summer. I love school. Id be a mess without it. Cursed or not cursed.
Adding to the stress of school, I have
also found out that my stomach is plotting to kill me. (Kylie thinks I am harboring
a rodent in my gastrointestinal system and I have named him Archibald) I got some tests done and finally found
out some answers. I have erosive gastritis and a overgrowth of bacteria. So now
I take a bazillion pills for breakfast. It’s a banquet everyday. Be jealous.
Hopefully the meds works though.
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| Most of my days at the moment... |
Along with the stomach and school
has been drama. I. HATE. Drama. A lot. I will never understand it. The discord
and negative emotion it produces its horrendous. I don’t know why people go out
of their way to make other peoples lives difficult. I do not have a perfect
record of creating drama…but I try with all my ability to rectify it when it
happens. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Drama causes un-necessary
heartache and stress. Why do we have to have it? I don’t understand.
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| Yup...Darwin would be ashamed. |
Fourth thing. Doubt. As a self
proclaimed scientist…I HATE doubt. I have a lot of trouble with just going with
the flow of things and not logically thinking about things. When there is a
battle between my heart and my brain…. usually my brain wins. So when things
happen that don’t make sense and the logic tells me one way but I doubt it and
have to trust in my heart…I really get screwed. From my academics, to my
relationships with people, I try and be logical. And it gets me into trouble
sometimes. Have you ever seen the moviw/play “Doubt?” Excellent piece of art
but it DRIVES ME INSANE. Just tell me. I like reason and I like logic. I have a
set plan and if that is upset in anyway it really throws me out of control. I
hate it. Trying to work on it.
New motto?
Well this is quite the negative
piece of literature. All of this aside I do have things in life which I am
incredible grateful for. One of my best friends in the world is FINALLY
engaged. (I was worried Jesus was going to come before it happened…), I am
vice-president of the neuroscience club and we are the coolest kids in the
world, I am doing research with my favorite professor and it gives me purpose
to go to school everyday, I have 5 new pet jellyfish who are my best friends, I
am still dating Kylie and she is the best thing to ever happen to me, My best
bro is graduating college in a week, my nephew learns words I teach him (like “Brain”),
I talked to the pre-med advisor and I am all set for 2015 med-school, I went to
the Out-reach program and have plans to start to volunteer there in the summer,
and I got my stupid car back. So aside from all the crap life is still really
good. I think we just notice the crap more. Which Sucks. A lot.
Random blog
post I know. But at the same time incredibly therapeutic. Really hope things do
calm down though. Don’t know how much more I can take before I snap.
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