Friday, May 31, 2013

The Game Called "LIFE"



The past couple of days, I have had the great opportunity to play the game called "Life." Now, I am a firm believer that bored games are called bored games for a very good reason. However, Life is one of those games that teach you a lot about well...life. It is an enjoyable game, and I will relate my observations on this peculiar past time.

In the game of life you land on squares that ultimately decide your fate. Random events happen in our daily lives that we can’t control. These events may cause us grief or happiness. Unfortunately we can’t pick them out. In essence each day we spin that rainbow spinner and life throws at us something different each day.

Stupid wheel.....
 

Life in reality is much more complex than the game of life is however. Yet in a way it is very similar to the board game. Random things happen and these can be good or bad. Sometimes we win the lottery and get $160,000. Other times our grandparents die and we spend money to keep their grundle of cats alive, sometimes we are fertile myrtles, sometimes we are the poor schmucks, and sometimes we steal $1000.00 bills from the banker (im not bitter). Life in a way is 100% random. We try to take control of life. But more than not life takes control of us. We make mistakes, we spend money, our cars break down, we get engaged, we are rude, we get a scholarship, we go bankrupt, we take out loans, we get in fights, and we forgive.

I am one of those people who like to plan.  I plan Everything. My career is mapped out and when life throws something at me that ruin those plans…. I have an anxiety attack. This is ridiculous. There are aspects in my plan that I can’t control and I need to accept this. Life will throw at me something and I will have to face it. The true test is whether I can handle it or not. So far, I think I’ve done pretty well.

The truth is life is unpredictable. For as much as we plan. Something always comes up. Both to good and to bad people. No matter what god or belief system you have. I think it is extremely ignorant to say that the divine shouldn’t let good things happen to bad people.  We are all incredibly different, and our lives take incredibly different paths. We all make decisions that not only affect us, but thousands of other people. We cannot understand the actions of others, and often times we suffer for it. Is that fair? Of course it is, and of course it isn’t. But that is life.

This is an incredibly fragmented and broken post…but things happen and they make a kid think. Sometimes crap happens. And I hate it. But there isn’t anything I can do about it. As a missionary I think this was one of the hardest things to teach people. We would tell them that god loves them. They would then ask if he did why were they poor and destitute when evil people are rich and successful. Valid question no? I think it is just one of the hardest things to accept. How can we deal with life not being fair? Just seems like a paradox to me.
 

I beauty in all of this is we still get up. Day after day. And live life. We shouldn’t ever give up. One of the greatest things my father has taught me is that each day the sun will set and there isn’t anything you can do about that. Then it will rise the very next day, and you have a fresh start. The chance to start a new. This gives me hope, and it helps me cope with the crazy that is the “Game of Life.” Why cant life be more like Monopoly?

 

p.s. random post, but I needed to write something and this is what came out. Give yourself 500 blog points!

 

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Unsolved Mystery of Flo, The Phantom Cat.


Currently we own two cats in the George family. Our eldest cat is named Clyde. Oh Clyde. Clyde has had several companions throughout his life. Bonnie who was his lover that lost control of her bladder…and Louie, his best friend, and best cat in the world. Who also became too cool for bladder control. I rather detest Clyde. (Most days…) He is like that fat kid in middle-school who was your best friend when you got the last pudding cup. Then when you felt it generosity in your heart..and you gave him the pudding cup. Then all of the sudden.... he wouldn't give you the time of the day until you had another damn pudding cup. Clyde is the fat kid. His cat food is the pudding cup. I am the kid he picks on. He is a tool. He and I are besties when he wants something. He won’t give me the time of the day if he isn't hungry.

Clyde’s new companion is something of an Enigma. Her name is Flo. We got her about 2 years ago. She is a cat of many mysteries. Only a few select have actually seen her. And even fewer of the elite have had the opportunity to touch her. She is like one of the three nephites of cats. Bigfoot has nothing on her. She puts the loch-ness monster and the chupacabra to shame. My mom claims she has Asbergers. But being the conspiracy theorist that I am…I know better.

Something is different about this cat. The way she disappears for days at a time. Her quick movements. She is NEVER seen eating food. The way she looks at us like we are an object of prey. It took me over a month to even see this myth of a cat after my mission. Trying to distance myself from the fat kid named Clyde…I have devoted much of my time at home to discovering her secrets. And ultimately her power. Emily has been my side kick in this exodus….and we have found 5 explanations for this phantom of a cat. These are listed from least likely to most likely.

Max and Emily George, conspiracy theorists extraordinaire!


Explanations for Flo’s bizarre behavior.

V-Flo is a reincarnation of General Chamberlain from the civil war. If any of you know, Emily is a leading expert in the Chamberlain era of the war. She knows all to know about her Squeeze....i mean idol. The similarities between Flo and this heroic man are eye opening. Look at the eyes of chamberlain and Flo...they are INCREDIBLY similar....
Once was....
Now is....? They have the SAME face!!!


IV-Flo is actually an animagus. We Georges are quite the Harry Potter freaks. (that’s putting it lightly….) It would only make sense that an insider of the wizarding world would want to keep tabs on a family that is SO close to figuring out how to get into Diagon Alley. We must be careful when discussing Harry Potter…she may decide one day to ruin us for good.
Too cute not to put in my blog....


III: Ever seen Hocus Pocus? Fantastic movie. Remember Thackery Binks?….the immortal cat that ultimately is freed from his captivity as a cat. All of that is a lie. Emily procured a historical book that accurately describes that Thackery Binks chose to stay a cat as to protect the children of the world. Disney took some major creative liberties with that one. Did you know the Anglo-Saxon word for Thackery is actually Zachary...? Thackery Binks has roamed the earth protecting innocent children who share his name. My nephew is named Zacahary. He is mega cool. Put the two together. Flo is really Thackery Binks protecting my nephew from evil witches.   
Freed?
Protector of Children?


II: Flo is a ghost. No one ever really sees her. No one can really touch her. She is grey and wispy. She can disappear in a heart beat. And our appliances come on randomly when she is in the room (this is 100% true)…definite ghost material.
This is an actual photo i took one night coming up the stairs......EVIL!


I: Flo is a spy for the White Witch of Narnia. We are 98% sure on this one. We have a closet in a spare room….full of Emily’s dresses. No one has ever seen the back of the closet. Flo will disappear for days at a time and then mysteriously be in Eric’s abandoned room even though the DOOR is CLOSED. Two portals to Narnia. Obviously. Whenever we get close to her she also smells of Turkish Delight. That Damn Turkish Delight. She looks at us…analyzing our every move. Trying to ascertain to see if we know where Aslan is. (which we do.) AND if you watch the movie and look real close at the battle scene…you can see the vague shape of a smokey blue cat. It’s Flo. Luckily we appease her with shelter and the occasional cat treat….Emily and I are continuing our search for her portals. When we find them we will bring everyone back some Turkish Delight.

Do you see her!?!?!


This was fun! Hopefully you didn't start to bleed from your eyes reading so much. I will keep you posted on the going ons of this mysterious cat.


p.s. any crazy pet stories of your own?

p.p.s: To make things even more creepy...we don't have ANY pictures of Flo...except the one i took in this blog....

p.p.p.s 800 blog points! WOOP and you get 5000 more if you have any more information on this enigmatic cat names Flo.




Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Power Level 1300!

Boom just hit 1300 hits. Thanks peeps! I am wondering if i should be worried why people care to know so much about my delusional rantings....oh well!

Thanks!
Everyone is all very excited about 1300 hits!

Monday, May 20, 2013

The science of Mondays



Well i am sick (again) and I am in the mood to blog. This is more of a venting session as today is just being one of those 'blegh" days.

Blegh Day: noun: a day in which everything can be described with a simple adjective of blegh, which can thus be translated into lame, boring, tiring, or un-eventful. Usually a Monday  
(From the Dictionary of Max. 1st edition)
Must be a Monday


   I blame this blegh day on the fact that it is a Monday. Who really likes Mondays? Sociopaths and The Abercrombie and Fitch CEOs. Thats who. According to research about 99% of people hate Mondays. And another study shoes that 89% of Mondays usually end up being "blegh days." Today is one of those days for me. This might because of me having some sort of rodent living in my stomach and a bag a rocks in my head may account for some of this though. So in this blog i will review what makes Mondays suck like hagfish, and why blegh days usually fall on Mondays.
This made me laugh out loud. Not LOL but LAUGH OUT LOUD.


Why Mondays suck
A scientific treaty on the beginning of the week.

1-Mondays fall after a weekend. Weekends are like the awesomeness that is a Betos breakfast burrito. Mondays are the 3 hour bowel movement that comes after the breakfast burrito.

2- Professors/Teachers usually think its an okay idea to make things due on Mondays. Instead of having the weekend to process all we learned during the week, lets make you study like the apocalypse is on Monday and not enjoy your breakfast burrito. (The burrito is a metaphor for the weekend) 

3- The apocalypse is prophesied to happen on a Monday. ("And it came to pass, that in the beginning day of the week of men, the pit of hell shall open, and Beelzebub shall release his plague upon the hearts of man"  Book of Max Chapter 6, verse 8)

4-After two days of relaxation and peace...all hell breaks lose at any retail/service job. Mondays in my pediatric office are planned by Lucifer himself. Every child seems to have waited to get sick until Monday. 

5-My pet fish Albus George Dumbledore died on a Monday. RIP Albus!
I will always love you Albus. 


6- The "Mon" in Monday comes from the Saxon word of the Norse moon god Mona. Who will be eaten by wolves during Ragnarok. Which is the Norse Apocalypse. Why have a day named after someone who will be eventually eaten by wolves!? Why not Zuesday!?

7- We are as far away from the weekend as we possibly can imagine. 

8-After kind of sleeping in for a few days we have to wake up. Waking up is evil. I am 28% sure are bodies are not physiologically designed to wake up. I am still working on this theory though...

9-Bad hair days, red lights, stubbing your toe, bombing tests, murders, long lines, scams, and headaches have a higher frequency rate to happen if it is a Monday. 

10- We dropped the Atomic bomb on Hiroshima....on a Monday.....



If this isn't enough proof that Mondays suck...i don't know what is. We all have them. Blegh Days. Most of them happen on Mondays. I say we vote to get rid of Mondays....Just an idea. Leave a comment as to why you hate Mondays!


p.s. 500 blog points for reading! Hopefully, you are close to leveling up!

p.p.s My wonderful friend SADIE TAGGART is HOME! WOOP!

p.p.p.s This was my first ever blog with my Sister. Its hilarious! And Witty!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Top 40 killed the radio star...

I have been on a blogging kick for awhile and i love it. It is very stress relieving. So here is another post about the random happenings of  my life.



I drive a lot. Sometimes  i think i am in my car more than my bed. I go to a commuters school, and therefore, me and the radio are kind of best friends. I have 5 presets and they keep me entertained for much of the day. With this in mind, i am quite familiar with the top 40 songs that are being played. Music is really a fickle thing. We all love it, but once we hear something over and over and over and over and over it starts to lose its pizazz. This blog post is a personal opinion to the singers who are so ubiquitous on the radio right now,  that they have started to make my ears bleed. A lot. Most of them i really love their music....but they just need to take a well deserved break. Like a musical ciesta! I will also comment to those who should be played more. As to spice up my time in my car up a bit....

Go take a break of your kit-kat bar.
Taylor Swift: Did anyone not see this one coming!? Her newest stuff is not horrendous...but i cant turn on the radio without feeling like i am swimming upstream in a hormonal avalanche. I do not want to forever feel like im 22, i do not want to go back to December, you are trouble when i hear you on the radio, and please stop crying on your guitar... its gross. And Taylor, maybe sing about more than just sadness. Or i may never listen to your songs ever again. Like ever.

So true...


Rihanna: Oh Riri....your songs are ridiculous. And i do not knowwhy the world loves you so much. My biggest beef with Rihanna is her songs are on ALL the time...and they say the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. (I just wrote the next Rihanna song.) Just go listen to "Diamond" 98% of that song is her telling us that she shines bright like a hardened form of carbon.

This made me really LOL


Maroon 5: I used to really like these guys. Back in high school they were the bees knees. Then they got famous. And now i want to strangle the high pitched payphone every time i hear him. The songs wouldn't be bad if i didn't hear them everywhere i go! They are like an STD. It was fun in the beginning, but now it is with you FOR-EV-ER!!!!



Adele: I love Adele. I think she is brilliant and her voice is incredible. However, i am 98.78% sure that if you tuned in on a radio on mars...Adele would be on. I think her songs are passionate and deep. But imagine eating chocolate cake every time you turned on the radio. You'd puke. And i am getting that way with Adele. Sorry chap.
This also just made me laugh...


Bruno Mars: Oh Bruno, much like our Maroon 5 peeps you were once awesome. Your first album was way classy. Now.....you make me have uncomfortable bowel movements. His new music is only "okay," but for some reason I feel the radio believes his music was written by God. I swear if i counted how many times he wishes he was your man in a day, id reach infinity. Take a break Mr. Peter Hernandez.
You go grumpy cat!

Shania Twain: Why. Why in all of the gods names is this woman still on the radio. Its not that she is over played so much, but its that she is STILL on the radio. We really don’t have enough good music to play that we resort to Shania. I don’t understand. Her songs give me nightmares and get stuck in my head for 2000 plus years. Uh oh oh.
 


Bands I think should be played more. 
-Fall out Boy: There new music is INCREDIBLE! (Elton John even thinks so...)
-Of Monsters and Men
-Florence + the Machine
-Some of the Youtube Stars!
-Imagine Dragons
-Neon Trees
-Pink and FUN. Together.....
-Katy Perry (just because i want her children...)
-Michael Buble (who doesn't like the boobs?)
-Paramore
-Lumineers
-Yellowcard
-Cartel
-He is We

   This is just an opinion. Dont hate. Add any to either list. I want to know if people agree or disagree!



p.s. You just earned 200 blog points! HOORAY!



Monday, May 13, 2013

The Things You Hear in a Pediatric Office


      



            Many of you know that I work for a small pediatric office. I absolutely love my job. It’s the best. Wanting to be a pediatrician myself this is kind of a dream job. As of late though I have been a tad frustrated. Currently, my job title is a medical receptionist…which is a cooler name for a man secretary (when i answer the phone people still think they have the wrong number...). I consider myself a people person and I don’t really interact with people as much as I do insurances and patient charts. BUT! (there is always a  big butt….) I have started training as a MA!!!! Which means I will actually interact with the kids. Today was my first kind of official day.And it was hysterical. Here is a series of quotes I heard today from those hooligans. Hopefully it makes you laugh. Expect more. They rock.

“Don’t worry! It will start to un-hug you soon!” (Talking about the blood pressure machine)

“Ooow! That is tickling my blood! Make it stop!”

“MY ARM IS OUT OF BLOOD!”

“Ummm…it’s a number O

“-_- Is that your bag of shots….?” (That’s the face the kid made…)

“When you hit my muscles they make a crunchy noise!” ( I have no idea how he knew this…)

“Do you want to draw on my magic paper?”

“You want me to PEE in a cup!? Are you crazy!?!”


Needless to say today at work was a riot. Can’t wait to hear more crazy things these kids will say.
Also this is the best video ever captured. If my nephew can’t make you laugh/smile in this video I am 98% sure you sold your soul to the devil….just sayin…









P.S. I am thinking of re-designing the blog page. Be excited.
P.P.S You get 100 blog points for this one. If you reach 1,000,000,000 blog points you can cash them in for a PRIZE! Woop!

Cutest kid in the world. I am 88% sure he is cuter than any baby ever born. Ever.




Saturday, May 11, 2013

10 Dirty Little Secrets...kind of...


Well I have noticed the past couple of blog posts have been rather depressing…and I hate depressing. As a self proclaimed optimist I hate when I find myself in the dumps. It stinks. (Pun intended.) So this post is a random and joy free. It is a list of ten things that most people don’t know about me. Unless we are besties then this is probably going to be a nice refresher.
How i responded to how many negative posts ive done.
 

 

10 Secrets about Max George (or things you just didn’t know about me…)
 
emily is excited about this list...you should be too!
 

 

1-Donkeys over Elephants.

            This one isn’t a secret or anything but I consider myself to be a democrat. Quite liberal. I believe that abortion is a woman’s choice, I believe in Gay Rights, I believe Stem cell research can save the world, I believe in partial gun control, and I like Obama. Most people when they find this out about me have a mid life crisis. I don’t know why…It ay stem from the fact that I was a good little Mormon boy most of my youth, but hey what happened to growing up and figuring out your own life. Apparently they don’t believe in that… ;)   
 

 

2-Elementary my dear Watson.

            When I was a strapping young elementary student I was bullied horrendously. It got so bad that I ended up switching schools in the 5th grade. I was skinny, wore glasses, could not play sports to save my life, loved reading, and had more girl friends then boy friends. I pretty much set myself up for it. Kids were mean and they were ruthless. And it caused me a lot of self esteem issues for awhile. I HATE and LOATHE bullying. There is nothing more self destructive in my eyes. It’s bad. And I feel it’s a HUGE problem in Utah. Especially with our culture and the homosexual movement. Its wrong. End of story.  

This is fantastic.
 

3-Hydrozoa, Anthozoa, Cubozoa, and Scyphozoa

            I am a zoology student studying medicine. Most of my classes involve me learning about animals. Irony of this is I HATE animals. Not a fan. I love fish. Recently however I have become fascinated with the phylum Cnidaria, commonly known as the jellyfish family. The fact that they are the first beings that are close to sentience and show the first evolutionary neural links enthralls me. If we can learn how jellyfish became somewhat sentient then we can dive deeper into the human psyche. I am geeking out about this…but welcome to my life :D  
 
heh....
 

 

4-An unsolved mystery.

            Most of you know I LOVE the paranormal and secret societies, and conspiracy theories and the like. I grew up addicted to “Unsolved Mysteries,” and I now love a good horror movie. However, with that in mind, I HATE haunted house/spook alley things. They give me a massive sympathetic nervous reaction. If I am watching it on TV I can separate myself, however if I am there I want to throw punches. It’s a paradox really. And it drives Kylie nuts.

This man is 80% why the show scared me so bad...

 

5- Mythos

            It is no secret that I love to read. Love is a small word…obsession suites me better. Books are part of my soul. And my escape. However there is one book I have read more than any others. It is not any of the Harry Potter (they are a close second), It isn’t a childs book, and it is not the Book of Mormon. (Sorry…I am a sinner) It is Edith Hamilton’s Mythology. I got this book from my Amiga (Aubrey Carter this is you) back when I was like 13 for Christmas. And I have TORN it apart. Culture and mythology are a part of who I am, and this book is evidence of that. Its awesome.  
favorite book of all time.
 

 

6-Half way there….

            One of my biggest dreams in life is to become a member of the Freemason society. I have been enthralled with this organization since I was little. And I don’t know why. It may stem from my love of the occult. So if you know of anyone who is a Mason and wants a noobie. Let me know ASAP. I mean I am kind already there being a Mormon… ;)
So cool...
 

 

7-Yo ho, and a bottle of rum.

            If I could take a moral holiday and not believe in a health code I am 80% sure id be an alcoholic. For some bizarre reason these drinks have allured me ever since I read about butter beer. However, if I actually did drink…id either A-be a psycho drunk and end of casuing chaos, B-feel guilty because I know what it is doing to my liver and my brain, or C-Become a dead beat alcohol addict. So its probably a good thing I believe in the word of wisdom. Ill stick to my sparkling cider.
 
Just one of those days

 

8-Chef Boyarde

            I love to cook. It started on my mission as a stress reliever and it has stuck with me since. However…I HATE the clean up..which kinda makes cooking difficult. Also I don’t really ever have time to sit and cook something awesome, and when I do I usually end up experimenting and ruining the food. I guess it’s the mad scientist in me…I make a mean Avocado and Chicken salad though…just saying. Ask Elder Gomez about my Cinnamin Rolls.....
hehe True Story....
 

9-If you get the ball…just pass it to me okay?

            Oh sports….how I hate you. If you refer to number two I was often bullied for my lack of myosin and actin fibers. Many a jock looked at me incredulously as I tried to dribble a ball, or score a goal, or ran away from the football. This in turn made me hate a lot of jock. And sports in general. With that in mind I do love Tennis. And Baseball. But the minute it gets heated or competitive. Im outta there.

I may have called a soccer field a court the other day.....


 

10-Pictures

            It is no surprise to people that I love taking pictures. Cody Haslem will thank me one day for my obsession. However, most people don’t know that I hate taking “nice” pictures of myself. (once again I think it stems from number 2) I love my goofy and crazy pictures, but I always think I look malnourished and emaciated when I try and attempt a “good” picture. This makes life fun when my beautiful chica friend is on pars with Barney Stimpson and cant take a picture that the gods are envious of. She is gorgeous. Im lanky and awkward. We even it our I guess… ;D
Love this girlie...a lot. Dont know how she puts up with me or my sunglasses....
 

 

This was fun. More people should blog about this. Leave feedback! I do love it so. Or just leave a comment about something people don’t really know about!

 

p.s. Blog points are back! You get 200 for reading this and another 300 as a bonus for all my depressing stuff as of late! If you are over 2000 you have now leveled up and have learned the share Max’s blog skill. Which is super effective…all the time!