The science of Mondays

Well i am sick (again) and I am in the mood to blog. This is more of a venting session as today is just being one of those 'blegh" days.

Blegh Day: noun: a day in which everything can be described with a simple adjective of blegh, which can thus be translated into lame, boring, tiring, or un-eventful. Usually a Monday  

(From the Dictionary of Max. 1st edition)

Must be a Monday

   I blame this blegh day on the fact that it is a Monday. Who really likes Mondays? Sociopaths and The Abercrombie and Fitch CEOs. Thats who. According to research about 99% of people hate Mondays. And another study shoes that 89% of Mondays usually end up being "blegh days." Today is one of those days for me. This might because of me having some sort of rodent living in my stomach and a bag a rocks in my head may account for some of this though. So in this blog i will review what makes Mondays suck like hagfish, and why blegh days usually fall on Mondays.

This made me laugh out loud. Not LOL but LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Why Mondays suck

A scientific treaty on the beginning of the week.

1-Mondays fall after a weekend. Weekends are like the awesomeness that is a Betos breakfast burrito. Mondays are the 3 hour bowel movement that comes after the breakfast burrito.

2- Professors/Teachers usually think its an okay idea to make things due on Mondays. Instead of having the weekend to process all we learned during the week, lets make you study like the apocalypse is on Monday and not enjoy your breakfast burrito. (The burrito is a metaphor for the weekend) 

3- The apocalypse is prophesied to happen on a Monday. ("And it came to pass, that in the beginning day of the week of men, the pit of hell shall open, and Beelzebub shall release his plague upon the hearts of man"  Book of Max Chapter 6, verse 8)

4-After two days of relaxation and peace...all hell breaks lose at any retail/service job. Mondays in my pediatric office are planned by Lucifer himself. Every child seems to have waited to get sick until Monday. 

5-My pet fish Albus George Dumbledore died on a Monday. RIP Albus!

I will always love you Albus. 

6- The "Mon" in Monday comes from the Saxon word of the Norse moon god Mona. Who will be eaten by wolves during Ragnarok. Which is the Norse Apocalypse. Why have a day named after someone who will be eventually eaten by wolves!? Why not Zuesday!?

7- We are as far away from the weekend as we possibly can imagine. 

8-After kind of sleeping in for a few days we have to wake up. Waking up is evil. I am 28% sure are bodies are not physiologically designed to wake up. I am still working on this theory though...

9-Bad hair days, red lights, stubbing your toe, bombing tests, murders, long lines, scams, and headaches have a higher frequency rate to happen if it is a Monday. 

10- We dropped the Atomic bomb on Hiroshima....on a Monday.....

If this isn't enough proof that Mondays suck...i don't know what is. We all have them. Blegh Days. Most of them happen on Mondays. I say we vote to get rid of Mondays....Just an idea. Leave a comment as to why you hate Mondays!

p.s. 500 blog points for reading! Hopefully, you are close to leveling up!

p.p.s My wonderful friend SADIE TAGGART is HOME! WOOP!

p.p.p.s This was my first ever blog with my Sister. Its hilarious! And Witty!

http://smaxz.blogspot.com