The Unsolved Mystery of Flo, The Phantom Cat.

Currently we own two cats in the George family. Our eldest cat is named Clyde. Oh Clyde. Clyde has had several companions throughout his life. Bonnie who was his lover that lost control of her bladder…and Louie, his best friend, and best cat in the world. Who also became too cool for bladder control. I rather detest Clyde. (Most days…) He is like that fat kid in middle-school who was your best friend when you got the last pudding cup. Then when you felt it generosity in your heart..and you gave him the pudding cup. Then all of the sudden.... he wouldn't give you the time of the day until you had another damn pudding cup. Clyde is the fat kid. His cat food is the pudding cup. I am the kid he picks on. He is a tool. He and I are besties when he wants something. He won’t give me the time of the day if he isn't hungry.

Clyde’s new companion is something of an Enigma. Her name is Flo. We got her about 2 years ago. She is a cat of many mysteries. Only a few select have actually seen her. And even fewer of the elite have had the opportunity to touch her. She is like one of the three nephites of cats. Bigfoot has nothing on her. She puts the loch-ness monster and the chupacabra to shame. My mom claims she has Asbergers. But being the conspiracy theorist that I am…I know better.

Something is different about this cat. The way she disappears for days at a time. Her quick movements. She is NEVER seen eating food. The way she looks at us like we are an object of prey. It took me over a month to even see this myth of a cat after my mission. Trying to distance myself from the fat kid named Clyde…I have devoted much of my time at home to discovering her secrets. And ultimately her power. Emily has been my side kick in this exodus….and we have found 5 explanations for this phantom of a cat. These are listed from least likely to most likely.

Max and Emily George, conspiracy theorists extraordinaire!

Explanations for Flo’s bizarre behavior.

V-Flo is a reincarnation of General Chamberlain from the civil war. If any of you know, Emily is a leading expert in the Chamberlain era of the war. She knows all to know about her Squeeze....i mean idol. The similarities between Flo and this heroic man are eye opening. Look at the eyes of chamberlain and Flo...they are INCREDIBLY similar....

Once was....

Now is....? They have the SAME face!!!

IV-Flo is actually an animagus. We Georges are quite the Harry Potter freaks. (that’s putting it lightly….) It would only make sense that an insider of the wizarding world would want to keep tabs on a family that is SO close to figuring out how to get into Diagon Alley. We must be careful when discussing Harry Potter…she may decide one day to ruin us for good.

Too cute not to put in my blog....

III: Ever seen Hocus Pocus? Fantastic movie. Remember Thackery Binks?….the immortal cat that ultimately is freed from his captivity as a cat. All of that is a lie. Emily procured a historical book that accurately describes that Thackery Binks chose to stay a cat as to protect the children of the world. Disney took some major creative liberties with that one. Did you know the Anglo-Saxon word for Thackery is actually Zachary...? Thackery Binks has roamed the earth protecting innocent children who share his name. My nephew is named Zacahary. He is mega cool. Put the two together. Flo is really Thackery Binks protecting my nephew from evil witches.   

Freed?

Protector of Children?

II: Flo is a ghost. No one ever really sees her. No one can really touch her. She is grey and wispy. She can disappear in a heart beat. And our appliances come on randomly when she is in the room (this is 100% true)…definite ghost material.

This is an actual photo i took one night coming up the stairs......EVIL!

I: Flo is a spy for the White Witch of Narnia. We are 98% sure on this one. We have a closet in a spare room….full of Emily’s dresses. No one has ever seen the back of the closet. Flo will disappear for days at a time and then mysteriously be in Eric’s abandoned room even though the DOOR is CLOSED. Two portals to Narnia. Obviously. Whenever we get close to her she also smells of Turkish Delight. That Damn Turkish Delight. She looks at us…analyzing our every move. Trying to ascertain to see if we know where Aslan is. (which we do.) AND if you watch the movie and look real close at the battle scene…you can see the vague shape of a smokey blue cat. It’s Flo. Luckily we appease her with shelter and the occasional cat treat….Emily and I are continuing our search for her portals. When we find them we will bring everyone back some Turkish Delight.

Do you see her!?!?!

This was fun! Hopefully you didn't start to bleed from your eyes reading so much. I will keep you posted on the going ons of this mysterious cat.

p.s. any crazy pet stories of your own?

p.p.s: To make things even more creepy...we don't have ANY pictures of Flo...except the one i took in this blog....

p.p.p.s 800 blog points! WOOP and you get 5000 more if you have any more information on this enigmatic cat names Flo.