Why it is evolutionarily better to be tall.

For the past couple of days me and my beautiful Fiancé (mostly me…) have been compiling an intricate list. Our list is a series of scientific observations we have made as to why it is more evolutionarily successful to be tall. Both of us are in the 6foot range while everyone else we associate with is hobbit size in comparison. Their life must be so difficult, and now as you will shortly see. Natural selection is selecting against the short people of the world.

Emily's life must be so difficult.....

 

 

 

A scientific study as to why it is evolutionarily more successful to be tall.

Reason I: In a large crowd of Homo sapiens, it is advantageous to the altitudinous in that they are able to see over the populations of other more “smaller” species. This allows the tall species to see better at concerts, sporting events, and other heavily crowded activities.                                                                                                                                                           *Sub note: Isn’t it interesting that smaller Homo sapiens stand on their tippy toes as to become more tall….

Reason II: Similarly the small sub species must take 10 steps for every 5 steps tall species must take. Therefore in a race or when being chased by cheetahs, tall people are more energy efficient and more likely to survive.

            Reason III: In the case of a recreational sporting event tall Homo sapiens excel exceedingly. We are able to see things while the smaller sub-species can only see into our chest.

 

            Reason IV: We are able to reach things. Like our mascot the giraffe, we are able to reach all things. Objects located high on the bookshelf, in the supermarket aisle, or even on the top shelf in the kitchen. There are few things that we cannot reach.

We See EVERYTHING!

 

 

            Reason V: In sexual selection women tend to choose mates who are taller and thus more attractive.

 

            Reason VI: We are more noticeable. In a large group of species competing to volunteer in a sporting event…we will be seen first. Small species may only have their feet seen.

 

            Reason VII: Tall species are often the most attractive of all species, therefore we are mistaken for models and Hollywood stars. Making us awesome.

 

            Reason VIII: Our height often deters predators. Such as rapists, drug lords and muggers.

 

            Reason IX: We usually never have to worry about seeing over someone in front of us. This is especially important in the movie theaters. No matter where we are. We can see.

 

            Reason X: Being tall allows for more muscle development. Physiologically speaking having long limbs allows muscles to grow better and become more developed. Making tall people stronger and awesome.

This was just too awesome.

 

This was quite the ridiculous post. But enjoyable none the less. This was all in good fun, and if you got offended by this…then you are lame. (or short.. ;)) Please add to my list or counter it with a list of why short people are better. I dare you. I can’t think of any. J

 

P.S. 300 points for reading! Are you close to leveling up?