Happy Purge Day!

On June 7^th, My sister Sarah asked me if there were no rules or laws, which 12 would I break? This is quite the loaded question and I told her I would have to get back to her. This question stems from the new horror movie called The Purge.  In the movie, the crime rate in America has decreased incredibly because every year for 12 hours there are no laws, and no consequences for breaking them. All emergency contact is cancelled and you can do what ever you want. The movie looks intense, and focuses on revenge and murder. However, I think the idea is brilliant. What would we do if we knew we wouldn’t be punished for it? Sarah would speed, and maybe dash and dine…. Haha She is not on my Purge team. She asked for it and here is my list of twelve laws that I would break if there were no consequences.

 

***For arguments sake, anything that is done in Purge is acceptable even after the twelve hours are up. If I steal a car it is mine as long as I manage to keep it through purge. You cannot be held accountable for anything done during Purge. ***

 

1-I’d rob a bank. Completely. Dry it out. I would then deposit it at America First Credit Union and maybe open some CD’s or invest it somewhere.

 

2- I would then rob a pharmacy. Take all the medication and then open my own pharmacy. Also I wouldn’t mind using the Adderall for my trigonometry tests….

 

3- I would get Paden Moss to hack into Weber States grading program and give myself a 4.0. Also a full ride scholarship would be nice.

 

4- I would then get Mr. Moss to hack into the admission department of both Penn State and the U and have them accept me already as a med student.

 

5- I would steal a house. I would find a nice Victorian close to campus and just kick/force the people out and move on in!

 

6- I would go on an incredibly awesome shopping trip and just take what ever I wanted. Clothes, books, video games, cars, and food. Anything and everything I could possibly imagine would be mine!

 

7- Id go to the movies, not pay for my ticket, and then movie hop. And not even care! (this is something I have always wanted to do anyway….)

 

8-I would openly tell people what I thought of them with no regard to my manners and or fear of losing my job….

 

9- I would not pay for my gas.

 

10- I’d hire a prostitute. Just for the fun of it ;)

 

11- I would experiment with some drugs. Like ecstasy. I think I would be a pretty fun kid if I was on ecstasy. Or maybe marijuana. Either way I’d be the life of the party.

12- I would roam the streets naked. No laws telling me I can’t. I came into this world naked; I will party on purge naked!

 

            Obviously with it being purge anyone could kill me with no regrets if I tried to rob someplace. But that’s not the point…haha We talked about this over dinner and discussed what everyone would do. It was a lot of fun. Comment on stuff you would do! It could be quite the fuin topic to discuss with everyone. Would you do something crazy? Or be like Sarah and just dine and dash? Emily would be a nut case. Kylie and I decided from now on June 7^th is now national Purge day. A party is in the plans…..

 

p.s. 500 blog points for reading and 2000 if you comment on what you would do on Purge!

 

p.p.s Go check out this blog! It has got to be one of the funniest/coolest blogs I have ever found. Quite profound.  Plus the creator is a local from teh SLC area! Woop Utah power! Love this blog, its hysterical and deep at the same time! He talks about some pretty intense things and makes some incredible points. Probably my favorite blog. Plus Emily and I are famous. We sent in a pic which got featured in one of his articles.

 

www.danoah.com

 

 

A necessary evil in the pediatric world.

Many of you know that I work in a Pediatric office. I LOVE my job. A lot. When it comes to medicine there isn’t much I don’t love. Things such as throat swabs, urine spinning, sutures, and finger pricking, are a few of the various tasks I do in my office. All of which I enjoy. (Swab is one of those words…just figured that out. Like moist…or soiled.) I also love the kids. They. Are. Hysterical. And yet, many of them hate me because I poke them with needles and such. If there is anything though I DESPISE about my jobs…it’s the parents.

How i feel about this...

Parents. A necessary evil in the pediatric world. These past three weeks I have met a sloo of ornery parents who could probably benefit from a shot or two themselves. Today I endured ranting’s from a woman who wanted to know why I had to poke her child’s finger to test for hemoglobin. I need blood. How do you get blood? Poking, biting, vomiting, pooping or cutting. Take your pick. And let me know what it is.  She then had to leave the room so she wouldn't see her child suffer.  I understand that it isn't fun to watch your kid cry. But come on. This is medicine. Not torture.  The tests we are doing will help identify if your child has any diseases and or genetic defects. Your child will heal from a small pin prick. Everything will be fine.  Don’t attack medicine because we cause one minute of pain and crying. The future benefits GREATLY out way the drawbacks. And by the way…most of the times the nerves are not developed enough to even sense that much pain. They cry because they are uncomfortable. And they DEFINITELY won’t remember. Anyone remember their circumcision? Didn’t think so.

My biggest beef with parents in a medical setting is those who do not immunize their children. UGH if you know me you know this is one of my biggest pet peeves of all times. (dont bring it up when i am around...) I feel it is one of the most arrogant and selfish things you can do to your child. I do not understand the rationale behind it. Don’t even try the whole “they cause autism/ADD/any other behavioral disease” at me. I will blast you with about 100 articles proving you wrong. I think this hits home so much is that my Grandpa almost died of polio. And his sister did. Yet we have children who are in our schools and communities who can contract the disease. Because their parents don't want them to have another disease... We have already eradicated about 99% of the disease through the vaccine. But it only takes one child. One kid who is not immune to it, to have that one virus who has received immunity from resistance plasmids. Who then passes that IMMUNE polio virus to the next person. Bringing an “extinct” disease back.  I will be the first to kidney punch that parent if my kid gets some sort of new polio virus because their kid is not vaccinated.

Yeah lets not vaccinate. 

Final beef at the moment. Parents who think we can bend the rules. In medicine there are VERY strict rules. ESPECIALLY when it pertains to controlled substances like Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse, Focalin, Metadate, Concerta and other ADD Stimulants. (all of which are addictive and can cause death with overdose…hence the CONTROLLED part) These drugs are DANGEROUS. They are used to treat a very difficult yet over diagnosed disease. Medical offices cannot just hand out prescriptions willy nilly. Yet parents think that we can just fill them if they don’t meet certain requirements. I HATE THIS. Drives me crazy. Just because you didn't keep track of the pills your child is taking, or you lost your prescription you think I will make it rain Adderall from the heavens. Its not manna. There are rules I will follow and you need to follow the same ones. Hell, if I wanted to I would just get a prescription ready for myself. I have a trigonometry test next Wednesday that I could use some Adderall for. Pretty sure some parents have the same idea. Not kidding.

Accuarte representation of a few parents in my office. 

Wow. This was quite the therapeutic rant.  Sorry if I offended any one or any personal beliefs. But these are my beliefs and I am entitled to them. Shout out to the parents of the world. PLEASE do your research about vaccines. They are not bad. Check your sources and then ask your doctor. I am 398% sure they will tell you vaccinate your children. I have thought about not even accepting children who are not vaccinated when I become a physician. It’s that important to me. Everything else. Just be a decent person. No one likes a jerk.

P.S. Sorry if I did offended any one. These themes are clos e to my heart as an aspiring medical professional. Believe it or not I am all for researching aromatherapy techniques! :D if that is any consolation.

p.p.s 1000 blog points. This one was a doosie. 

The Game Called "LIFE"

The past couple of days, I have had the great opportunity to play the game called "Life." Now, I am a firm believer that bored games are called bored games for a very good reason. However, Life is one of those games that teach you a lot about well...life. It is an enjoyable game, and I will relate my observations on this peculiar past time.

In the game of life you land on squares that ultimately decide your fate. Random events happen in our daily lives that we can’t control. These events may cause us grief or happiness. Unfortunately we can’t pick them out. In essence each day we spin that rainbow spinner and life throws at us something different each day.

Stupid wheel.....

 

Life in reality is much more complex than the game of life is however. Yet in a way it is very similar to the board game. Random things happen and these can be good or bad. Sometimes we win the lottery and get $160,000. Other times our grandparents die and we spend money to keep their grundle of cats alive, sometimes we are fertile myrtles, sometimes we are the poor schmucks, and sometimes we steal $1000.00 bills from the banker (im not bitter). Life in a way is 100% random. We try to take control of life. But more than not life takes control of us. We make mistakes, we spend money, our cars break down, we get engaged, we are rude, we get a scholarship, we go bankrupt, we take out loans, we get in fights, and we forgive.

I am one of those people who like to plan.  I plan Everything. My career is mapped out and when life throws something at me that ruin those plans…. I have an anxiety attack. This is ridiculous. There are aspects in my plan that I can’t control and I need to accept this. Life will throw at me something and I will have to face it. The true test is whether I can handle it or not. So far, I think I’ve done pretty well.

The truth is life is unpredictable. For as much as we plan. Something always comes up. Both to good and to bad people. No matter what god or belief system you have. I think it is extremely ignorant to say that the divine shouldn’t let good things happen to bad people.  We are all incredibly different, and our lives take incredibly different paths. We all make decisions that not only affect us, but thousands of other people. We cannot understand the actions of others, and often times we suffer for it. Is that fair? Of course it is, and of course it isn’t. But that is life.

This is an incredibly fragmented and broken post…but things happen and they make a kid think. Sometimes crap happens. And I hate it. But there isn’t anything I can do about it. As a missionary I think this was one of the hardest things to teach people. We would tell them that god loves them. They would then ask if he did why were they poor and destitute when evil people are rich and successful. Valid question no? I think it is just one of the hardest things to accept. How can we deal with life not being fair? Just seems like a paradox to me.

 

I beauty in all of this is we still get up. Day after day. And live life. We shouldn’t ever give up. One of the greatest things my father has taught me is that each day the sun will set and there isn’t anything you can do about that. Then it will rise the very next day, and you have a fresh start. The chance to start a new. This gives me hope, and it helps me cope with the crazy that is the “Game of Life.” Why cant life be more like Monopoly?

 

p.s. random post, but I needed to write something and this is what came out. Give yourself 500 blog points!

 

The Unsolved Mystery of Flo, The Phantom Cat.

Currently we own two cats in the George family. Our eldest cat is named Clyde. Oh Clyde. Clyde has had several companions throughout his life. Bonnie who was his lover that lost control of her bladder…and Louie, his best friend, and best cat in the world. Who also became too cool for bladder control. I rather detest Clyde. (Most days…) He is like that fat kid in middle-school who was your best friend when you got the last pudding cup. Then when you felt it generosity in your heart..and you gave him the pudding cup. Then all of the sudden.... he wouldn't give you the time of the day until you had another damn pudding cup. Clyde is the fat kid. His cat food is the pudding cup. I am the kid he picks on. He is a tool. He and I are besties when he wants something. He won’t give me the time of the day if he isn't hungry.

Clyde’s new companion is something of an Enigma. Her name is Flo. We got her about 2 years ago. She is a cat of many mysteries. Only a few select have actually seen her. And even fewer of the elite have had the opportunity to touch her. She is like one of the three nephites of cats. Bigfoot has nothing on her. She puts the loch-ness monster and the chupacabra to shame. My mom claims she has Asbergers. But being the conspiracy theorist that I am…I know better.

Something is different about this cat. The way she disappears for days at a time. Her quick movements. She is NEVER seen eating food. The way she looks at us like we are an object of prey. It took me over a month to even see this myth of a cat after my mission. Trying to distance myself from the fat kid named Clyde…I have devoted much of my time at home to discovering her secrets. And ultimately her power. Emily has been my side kick in this exodus….and we have found 5 explanations for this phantom of a cat. These are listed from least likely to most likely.

Max and Emily George, conspiracy theorists extraordinaire!

Explanations for Flo’s bizarre behavior.

V-Flo is a reincarnation of General Chamberlain from the civil war. If any of you know, Emily is a leading expert in the Chamberlain era of the war. She knows all to know about her Squeeze....i mean idol. The similarities between Flo and this heroic man are eye opening. Look at the eyes of chamberlain and Flo...they are INCREDIBLY similar....

Once was....

Now is....? They have the SAME face!!!

IV-Flo is actually an animagus. We Georges are quite the Harry Potter freaks. (that’s putting it lightly….) It would only make sense that an insider of the wizarding world would want to keep tabs on a family that is SO close to figuring out how to get into Diagon Alley. We must be careful when discussing Harry Potter…she may decide one day to ruin us for good.

Too cute not to put in my blog....

III: Ever seen Hocus Pocus? Fantastic movie. Remember Thackery Binks?….the immortal cat that ultimately is freed from his captivity as a cat. All of that is a lie. Emily procured a historical book that accurately describes that Thackery Binks chose to stay a cat as to protect the children of the world. Disney took some major creative liberties with that one. Did you know the Anglo-Saxon word for Thackery is actually Zachary...? Thackery Binks has roamed the earth protecting innocent children who share his name. My nephew is named Zacahary. He is mega cool. Put the two together. Flo is really Thackery Binks protecting my nephew from evil witches.   

Freed?

Protector of Children?

II: Flo is a ghost. No one ever really sees her. No one can really touch her. She is grey and wispy. She can disappear in a heart beat. And our appliances come on randomly when she is in the room (this is 100% true)…definite ghost material.

This is an actual photo i took one night coming up the stairs......EVIL!

I: Flo is a spy for the White Witch of Narnia. We are 98% sure on this one. We have a closet in a spare room….full of Emily’s dresses. No one has ever seen the back of the closet. Flo will disappear for days at a time and then mysteriously be in Eric’s abandoned room even though the DOOR is CLOSED. Two portals to Narnia. Obviously. Whenever we get close to her she also smells of Turkish Delight. That Damn Turkish Delight. She looks at us…analyzing our every move. Trying to ascertain to see if we know where Aslan is. (which we do.) AND if you watch the movie and look real close at the battle scene…you can see the vague shape of a smokey blue cat. It’s Flo. Luckily we appease her with shelter and the occasional cat treat….Emily and I are continuing our search for her portals. When we find them we will bring everyone back some Turkish Delight.

Do you see her!?!?!

This was fun! Hopefully you didn't start to bleed from your eyes reading so much. I will keep you posted on the going ons of this mysterious cat.

p.s. any crazy pet stories of your own?

p.p.s: To make things even more creepy...we don't have ANY pictures of Flo...except the one i took in this blog....

p.p.p.s 800 blog points! WOOP and you get 5000 more if you have any more information on this enigmatic cat names Flo.

Power Level 1300!

Boom just hit 1300 hits. Thanks peeps! I am wondering if i should be worried why people care to know so much about my delusional rantings....oh well!

Thanks!

Everyone is all very excited about 1300 hits!

The science of Mondays

Well i am sick (again) and I am in the mood to blog. This is more of a venting session as today is just being one of those 'blegh" days.

Blegh Day: noun: a day in which everything can be described with a simple adjective of blegh, which can thus be translated into lame, boring, tiring, or un-eventful. Usually a Monday  

(From the Dictionary of Max. 1st edition)

Must be a Monday

   I blame this blegh day on the fact that it is a Monday. Who really likes Mondays? Sociopaths and The Abercrombie and Fitch CEOs. Thats who. According to research about 99% of people hate Mondays. And another study shoes that 89% of Mondays usually end up being "blegh days." Today is one of those days for me. This might because of me having some sort of rodent living in my stomach and a bag a rocks in my head may account for some of this though. So in this blog i will review what makes Mondays suck like hagfish, and why blegh days usually fall on Mondays.

This made me laugh out loud. Not LOL but LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Why Mondays suck

A scientific treaty on the beginning of the week.

1-Mondays fall after a weekend. Weekends are like the awesomeness that is a Betos breakfast burrito. Mondays are the 3 hour bowel movement that comes after the breakfast burrito.

2- Professors/Teachers usually think its an okay idea to make things due on Mondays. Instead of having the weekend to process all we learned during the week, lets make you study like the apocalypse is on Monday and not enjoy your breakfast burrito. (The burrito is a metaphor for the weekend) 

3- The apocalypse is prophesied to happen on a Monday. ("And it came to pass, that in the beginning day of the week of men, the pit of hell shall open, and Beelzebub shall release his plague upon the hearts of man"  Book of Max Chapter 6, verse 8)

4-After two days of relaxation and peace...all hell breaks lose at any retail/service job. Mondays in my pediatric office are planned by Lucifer himself. Every child seems to have waited to get sick until Monday. 

5-My pet fish Albus George Dumbledore died on a Monday. RIP Albus!

I will always love you Albus. 

6- The "Mon" in Monday comes from the Saxon word of the Norse moon god Mona. Who will be eaten by wolves during Ragnarok. Which is the Norse Apocalypse. Why have a day named after someone who will be eventually eaten by wolves!? Why not Zuesday!?

7- We are as far away from the weekend as we possibly can imagine. 

8-After kind of sleeping in for a few days we have to wake up. Waking up is evil. I am 28% sure are bodies are not physiologically designed to wake up. I am still working on this theory though...

9-Bad hair days, red lights, stubbing your toe, bombing tests, murders, long lines, scams, and headaches have a higher frequency rate to happen if it is a Monday. 

10- We dropped the Atomic bomb on Hiroshima....on a Monday.....

If this isn't enough proof that Mondays suck...i don't know what is. We all have them. Blegh Days. Most of them happen on Mondays. I say we vote to get rid of Mondays....Just an idea. Leave a comment as to why you hate Mondays!

p.s. 500 blog points for reading! Hopefully, you are close to leveling up!

p.p.s My wonderful friend SADIE TAGGART is HOME! WOOP!

p.p.p.s This was my first ever blog with my Sister. Its hilarious! And Witty!

http://smaxz.blogspot.com

Top 40 killed the radio star...

I have been on a blogging kick for awhile and i love it. It is very stress relieving. So here is another post about the random happenings of  my life.

I drive a lot. Sometimes  i think i am in my car more than my bed. I go to a commuters school, and therefore, me and the radio are kind of best friends. I have 5 presets and they keep me entertained for much of the day. With this in mind, i am quite familiar with the top 40 songs that are being played. Music is really a fickle thing. We all love it, but once we hear something over and over and over and over and over it starts to lose its pizazz. This blog post is a personal opinion to the singers who are so ubiquitous on the radio right now,  that they have started to make my ears bleed. A lot. Most of them i really love their music....but they just need to take a well deserved break. Like a musical ciesta! I will also comment to those who should be played more. As to spice up my time in my car up a bit....

Go take a break of your kit-kat bar.
Taylor Swift: Did anyone not see this one coming!? Her newest stuff is not horrendous...but i cant turn on the radio without feeling like i am swimming upstream in a hormonal avalanche. I do not want to forever feel like im 22, i do not want to go back to December, you are trouble when i hear you on the radio, and please stop crying on your guitar... its gross. And Taylor, maybe sing about more than just sadness. Or i may never listen to your songs ever again. Like ever.

So true...

Rihanna: Oh Riri....your songs are ridiculous. And i do not knowwhy the world loves you so much. My biggest beef with Rihanna is her songs are on ALL the time...and they say the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. (I just wrote the next Rihanna song.) Just go listen to "Diamond" 98% of that song is her telling us that she shines bright like a hardened form of carbon.

This made me really LOL

Maroon 5: I used to really like these guys. Back in high school they were the bees knees. Then they got famous. And now i want to strangle the high pitched payphone every time i hear him. The songs wouldn't be bad if i didn't hear them everywhere i go! They are like an STD. It was fun in the beginning, but now it is with you FOR-EV-ER!!!!

Adele: I love Adele. I think she is brilliant and her voice is incredible. However, i am 98.78% sure that if you tuned in on a radio on mars...Adele would be on. I think her songs are passionate and deep. But imagine eating chocolate cake every time you turned on the radio. You'd puke. And i am getting that way with Adele. Sorry chap.

This also just made me laugh...

Bruno Mars: Oh Bruno, much like our Maroon 5 peeps you were once awesome. Your first album was way classy. Now.....you make me have uncomfortable bowel movements. His new music is only "okay," but for some reason I feel the radio believes his music was written by God. I swear if i counted how many times he wishes he was your man in a day, id reach infinity. Take a break Mr. Peter Hernandez.

You go grumpy cat!

Shania Twain: Why. Why in all of the gods names is this woman still on the radio. Its not that she is over played so much, but its that she is STILL on the radio. We really don’t have enough good music to play that we resort to Shania. I don’t understand. Her songs give me nightmares and get stuck in my head for 2000 plus years. Uh oh oh.

 

Bands I think should be played more. 
-Fall out Boy: There new music is INCREDIBLE! (Elton John even thinks so...)
-Of Monsters and Men
-Florence + the Machine
-Some of the Youtube Stars!
-Imagine Dragons
-Neon Trees
-Pink and FUN. Together.....
-Katy Perry (just because i want her children...)
-Michael Buble (who doesn't like the boobs?)
-Paramore
-Lumineers
-Yellowcard
-Cartel
-He is We

   This is just an opinion. Dont hate. Add any to either list. I want to know if people agree or disagree!

p.s. You just earned 200 blog points! HOORAY!